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You are essential but you have to make him recognize that he is also as much crucial as you are to him.

Yes, you're doing a lot nowadays, however 100% of the tension you feel is produced by your attitude about what you're doing.
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One element that makes this ordeal bearable is knowing that this is what you are signing up for.
It might be statement of how to behave when there were plaques. Or it might be the news on criminal activity and arrest. 3 months into the part-time scenario, she got her yearly review - by mail.
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Observation opens your vision to possibilities, and enables you to select how to react to what you see.
Every person living his life, going through his experiences builds his own mindset. You're a guy who could attend to her and her kids.